As a people pleaser conflict is something I try to avoid at all cost. Conflict is something that I get anxiety about. Something I worry constantly about.

I will take the hit and not say a word. I will cry about it. Vent about it to my husband and still not say anything. No matter who it is or no matter how much they hurt me. It is so hard.

I just shut down. I stop arguing. I don’t want to say anything that will hurt anyone. I don’t want conflict or argument.

I wish I had the courage that I give others. The advice that I give them. To stand up for themselves — to not let others walk all over them. I wish I would do that for myself.

But I am so worried. Worried that, that one person isn’t going to like me anymore. Because being that “big” friend, “big” family member, “big” coworker I could be wrote of so easily. Because the way people treat and talk about us bigger people. It sucks that people treat us or think our worth is because our size.

So hopefully I will continue to get better about standing up for myself.

This year I have been finding ME. The real me — no matter what the scale says. Yes I have rough days and get bummed about the scale. But I am so happy.

I am proud of my body. My body has carried the most beautiful two girls. Birthed two precious babies. Kept me safe from uterus cancer. Went thru a full hysterectomy. And I am still thriving!

The amount of confidence I have gained in 2022 is beyond words!

My new goal is to continue to stand up for myself. To let others know when my feelings have been hurt. And to not behind the conflict